Bang Bang Shoot Shoot!

Woke up at 6:30 to meet Vlad at the best buy parking lot to get picked up to go shooting in Pennsylvania.  I brought along earplugs, shoulder guards, some fruit snacks and lots of bottled water.  We met up in a gas station in Wayne where I met Josh, a former police officer from Louisiana from moved to NJ along with his family because of Bush’s stupidity in handling Hurricane Katrina.  He said he once supported Bush during his first term, but felt let down by his recent actions and for nearly ruining his family’s life because of the Katrina incident.  He is now largely ok with a lucrative job working in networking and operations.

Rob and his girlfriend later showed up and we took his SUV for the long ride to rural PA.  We went shooting in an uncontrolled range where we were allowed to use nearly any inanimate object for target practice.  Vlad brought some obsolete hard drives, cd-roms, coke bottles, while I brought some old milk cartons, laundry containers, a Rutgers course catalog book and 2 yellow pages.  The guns I used today were a 22 calibre rifle, a Romanian variant of the AK-47, a AR15, a 308 Savage, a Beretta Storm, a Glock, a Revolver, and a 12-gauge pump action shotgun.  I spent most of my time going through the motions of shooting a rifle as this is my first time ever shooting using live ammunition in real-world settings.

People sometimes brag that they are great marksmen as a result of “pwning” people on games such as Unreal, Counterstrike and even Time Crisis.  The problem is that none of these games take into account the weight of the rifle, the temperatures from rapid fire, the recoil, and the surrounding environment such as weather, visibility, etc.  A few geeks who actually mastered using a sensitive mouse and keyboard commands would bitch and whine about visibility and the recoil hurting their shoulders.  It was quite interesting how I was able to learn to accurately shoot using a 22. rifle, but the trade-off was the lack of damage it caused.  On the other hand, the AK-47 nearly bruised my right shoulder, but I was nowhere near hitting my targets.

I think it would be a great idea to bring Jehangir and other gun-nuts along for the next get together.  One would think that shooting in a range is a great way to vent; but it’s not.  I didn’t really have any thoughts on my mind other than hitting the target and causing maximum damage to it.  The two main rifles I used most of the time were the 22. for practise and the 308 for maximum damage.  The only time I even thought of someone on the range was when I shot a Rutgers catalog into pieces while Vlad’s brother burned what was left of it using a lighter.  The funny thing was we kept using a burning catalog for target practise…yet for some reason a burning catalog reminded me of a certain classmate from Rutgers (a flaming academic?).

People should go try out shooting rifles or handguns once in a while.  It’s a great learning experience and quite fun once people understand the responsibility and find their favourite weapons.

From the Party Pooper…

As any foreigner who has lived here for a while knows, Koreans have a way underdeveloped sense of “Gaydar.”

Allow me to illustrate;

About 4 years ago or so “talent” Hong Seok Cheon was on TV rather often (he was on a children’s show and also the many variety shows). His actions and mannerisms were obviously gay, so I comment to my then girlfriend that it’s amazing that Koreans allow such an openly gay person on primetime TV. She was quite surprised, and said that Hong wasn’t gay, he was just “funny.”

A year or so later he came out of the closet and many Koreans were shocked. If you had seen this guy on TV, you would realize that this is about as shocking as revelations that Liberace was gay.

I’ve also taught in Korea with two teachers who were gay. The students, staff and Korean faculty never caught on, even those who hung out with the teachers extensively. One of them was rather handsome, yet kept rejecting the advances of certain female students and always declined to be set up on a date. The Koreans concluded that he just didn’t like Korean girls (they were half right). We didn’t bother “enlightening” them since few Koreans can deal maturely with this issue (such as this blog author is currently doing right now).

We did tell one staff member who hung out with the teachers all the time. His response was, “That’s not possible, John is nice.” Classic.

So, as a public service to Koreans, I’d like to start the Korean Gaywatch.

Criteria for my judgments:

The following criteria have been rigorously researched and tested by outstanding universities and research centers across the United States and in Europe. Links forthcoming.

Note that just one or even two of these criteria (except perhaps #5, though this is a subject of hot debate currently among researchers) do not necessarily a homo make. Only when at least 2 test positive is there a chance that the person might be a closet homosexual (or 옷장 homosexuals, as they are known in Korea).

Once three or four criteria score positive then we can start making a tentative case, and after five have passed you can rest assured that the person is, in the words of Cartman from South Park, “a gay homosexual.”

1. Dresses very fashionably (especially likes wearing accesories)

2. Relatively neat and clean (for a guy), especially in regards to his apartment/home.

3. Never seems to be involved with girls (no scandals, gossip, nothing)

4. Is better looking than this blog author (no, I’m serious. This is related to the scientific fact that gays tend have more feminine features than hetero males and this typically makes them unfairly more attractive than men, such as this author, who are more the “manly and ruggedly handsome” type).

5. Fucks guys even though he is not in prison

6. Loves to dance [Note, that it is true that heterosexuals also dance. However, it is a well-established fact that heterosexuals dance only because it's a good way to pick up women]

7. Knew who Gianni Versace was before he was killed by that gay serial killer guy.

8. Wears very nice shoes, and, when asked, admits that he, not a girlfriend or his mother, purchased them. May even share a brief but somewhat emotional story about how many places he had to shop at before he found them (see #10)

9. Has at any time expressed interest in becoming a hair dresser, fashion designer or critic, dancer, lion tamer/performer/magician, or mime.

10. Likes woman stuff like shopping, dancing, and female singers

11. Simply acts, just, you know, gay.

Important Disclaimer

Just because this author spent hours and hours on this subject does not in any way mean that he might be gay. I’m sick of people claiming that I must be secretly gay because I expend so much energy talking about it. I love women. Lots of them. As a matter of fact, I even have sex with them, sometimes even more than once. So just stop thinking that about me right now.

If you are still not convinced, then I’ll post a 19 page document I prepared on this same subject that PROVES I am not gay. Ok then.

[Update: said document is now up to 45 pages and includes graphs and charts. It also includes a chapter devoted solely to the controversial "Camp Weaver boyscout" incident of 1983]

——————————————————————————–

Ok, let’s get to Korea.

#1 Gangta

This is that pretty boy singer from H.O.T.

Note that he fits criteria 1-4. I lack the necessary data to confirm criterion #11, but I can say that on all the variety shows I’ve seen him on, he has never made a cruel joke or impersonation of Korean fashion designer Andre Kim. True heteros always seize the opportunity to joke about gays. That’s just normal guy stuff.

Also, what’s up with that “make-up” thing he did on his music video? A true man would have told the director to F-off at the mere suggestion (see An Jeong Hwan for related charge).

I think the strongest charge would be going back to #3. Gang Ta is probably the best looking guy in Korea right now. If he was even rumored to be interested in someone it would be all over the Sport’s New’s pages.
Now, since he has become famous there have only been 2 rumors of him having a girlfriend. The first was with Park Ji Yoon years back. They had been sighted together a few times and that was enough to get rumors going. However, they both denied the “charges” repeatedly and eventually people realized that indeed there was nothing going on. Finally, this year there were some photos floating around the net of him and singer Lee Soo Young with their arms around each other. It was later found out to be a fake.

8 years since making it big, and not one known girlfriend. You do the math…

You read it here first…

#2. The “cute” guy from G.O.D.

Pretty in Pink!

There were rumors already going around about this guy being gay. They went away, though the issue was never fully settled (G.O.D. “answered” the issue by making a music video where this guy plays a very manly role of protecting a “girlfriend” from some gangster types. It couldn’t have been more forced). I’m sure a lot of you Koreans are out there confused about the issue. That’s what this website is all about.

He tests positive for criterion 1 and 2. #3 is another big red flag (you’d think he would have at least tried a fake relationship to dispel the gay rumors). I’m a little uncertain about #4. I do hear a lot of the “cute” talk, but the guy needs a nose job. Having a large nose myself, I am very hesitant to include this criterion in my argument.

He is not really talkative or outgoing (the fat singer and dumb-ass Korean American in G.O.D. never shut up) so it is very difficult to judge criterion #11.

However, we do have some further evidence that tips the scale. A while back G.O.D. did commercials for ice cream (those whores did commercials for practically everything a few years back). Each G.O.D. member had a different flavor and which one do you think cutey boy got? Strawberry. That’s right, cute pink feminine strawberry. I think we can close this case.

TC Meetup and 打電話給日本朋友

Woke up pretty late today and went to the TC meet-up at the park.  Hung out with Dave, Jeff, Mike and Ed playing Frisbee and eating TC food.  Later said hi to Hisang and Jeff when they showed up.  It was a worthwhile time to just talk to them after not seeing many of them for several weeks.  Later went home to find out Jason had punked out on today’s meet-up.

Today was the first day of Skype’s free calls to Japan promotion.  With that in mind and the 13 hour difference in the US vs Japan, I called Hide up using the mobile number he gave me.  It was an interesting call because it was my first time making an international call using VoIP to mobile and because I had not spoken to Hide in person despite corresponding via email long after the RITS-Rutgers programme wrapped.  The reception turned out to be mediocre and Hide seemed nervous in trying to say the right things while I was trying to say the things as clearly and plainly as possible.

The conversation lasted for about 20 or so minutes before Hide had to head out to lunch.  From the conversation, I learned he just survived his final exams and is currently on break, he is 15 min away from Ritsu, and the traffic blows in Kyoto.  There will be more promotions in the future and I enjoyed the human aspect of communication despite being able to understand each other better via email.  He seemed to feel the same way because he said he was happy I went to these steps to get in touch with him and talk. I emailed him some of the stuff I talked about in greater detail in case it didn’t get through from the shitty reception.  They need to improve terminating quality between VoIP and mobile;  I need to bring this up to Chris.

As technology improves and distances erode, I find that the human component within us is slowly disappearing.  Conversations can seem impersonal and lifeless as we wait from seconds to minutes for a response to a series of poorly spelt phrases on our computers with occassional emoticons to express limited emotions.

After the call ended, I proceeded to call up Hirozo and I kept getting either busy signals or a Japanese language voice-mail.  I then email him the times I called and he informed me that he was in the Ritsu library working on an event for his ESS club.  It looks like I am going to have to call at a crazy time tomorrow @_O

Today was also unofficially payday as I found a substantially larger amount is currently in my ATM after making a withdrawal tonight.

와에이 투 고 미

I will keep this simple.  The first half of the day was uneventful.  There was no work, very little tasks to complete and I began to wander.  Ted had a rather interesting night KTVing and started to look over journals before he called it a night.  The farewell party was organised by a third party, that came off as a relief.  Protected posts function as private posts to house my thoughts at that moment… However, the confirmation that I was disliked by a large number of the club was troubling to say the least.

There was a time when I thought I was not liked for some reason by that said group.  They seemed very friendly when I approached them, but had this lingering suspicion that their actions do not truly reflect their thoughts.  There was onetime I thought Takuya cursed me off after a dance practise, but I wasn’t sure.  There was no way I can prove it, though I am aware Choi often referred to me when talking to them as “Jaamuseu wa…” and so forth.  It is true that I did not talk to them much during the year I was in the club, though I wonder if there were rumours swirling among them that I joined to meet girls or that I harboured anti-Japanese sentiments.  Again, I can’t prove this until it has been verified or one of them tells me straight how they felt about me.  In any event, I doubt I will be referred in future club meetings as I am an unpleasant “topic”.

I was warned by Chika that my behaviour was alienating friends at one point and she was right.  I believe YHM was annoyed at my behaviour, while I was freaking out Miho, Chika, Rika and Ed over it as well.  After graduation, Ed had noted that the club has left me with some unpleasantness, and I admit there were very “unpleasant” memories at the end.  The fact I did not have job prospects, an uncertain future, rejections twice, and a sense of alienation had brought me to a low point.  This was the time when I knew who my friends were when I was falling.  Those who were my friends knocked me back to my senses, showed me different perspectives, kept me in good company while the others made a mockery of my situation, attempted to step over me and even proliferated lies.  My friends know who they are and my enemies will get their karma in time.

Am I really relishing in this drama or this is just my way of saying I miss college?  I don’t relish the fact that I am universally resented in an organisation of any sort or the fact there are serious misconceptions about me as a result of it.  I do want answers to events that occurred at that time.  There was so much nonsense that I want to understand to prevent it from happening in the future.  Maybe it’s because I work right across the street from Rutgers, where all those places and people continue to invoke recent memories.  Maybe, it’s because I dislike exclusion and want to get along with most people, despite knowing I can’t be friends with everyone.  Could it be the key reason I am still talking about this is because my life has become so routine as an office worker?

Life as an officer worker.  Wake up at the crack of dawn, shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, walk to train station and wait.  Get on the train and get off at New Brunswick station.  Proceed to walk to Albany St and into the Albany St. Plaza.  Take the elevator and walk to my cubicle where I turn on my computer to check work email and news.  Proceed to complete tasks on my to-do list and add new tasks at the same time.  Lunch break comes around where I either get takeout or eat with coworkers.  Work, work and work until 5ish.  Either head straight to the train station or to the gym for workout.  Come home and eat dinner.  Start resting and watching tv shows or chatting with friends.  Sleep before midnight.  That is my life as of July 6th.  Weekends are random depending on availability and those of friends who graduated.  Sometimes the boredom creeps in and I think of certain things; it’s quite similar to Renton from “Trainspotting” after he survives his heroin withdrawal and ponders about his life after drugs…

It troubles me that 95% of the friends I met in college will be lost, while 5% becomes friends-for-life.  Even more painful when you have access to them via the Internet, but at the cost of the human connection.

I admit it.

I am paranoid.  I have misconceptions about certain items, places, people and events at time.  It’s good to know there are honest friends who will help me when my mind is clouded.  They can always count on me and I have counted on them.

Cheers to you, Bill andTed.

Good Times with Monica at Stuff Yer Face

Work was boring today.  There was much downtime as a result of a screwy network and the lack of responses from the new members.  Spent much of the day reading recommended literature on industry that Chris gave me.

Later went out to Stuff Yer Face with Monica who brought along a crazy guy named “Uncle Louie”, Mike, Tina, Beth, and Danielle.  Met up with another guy who was working for a Masters’ in film and referred him to my workplace as a corporation to use in his documentary.  Later Danielle showed up and it turned out she was from my high school!  We talked about the randomness and how I liked this Melody girl.  She said he was cute and thought I dated her (I wished).

During the night I drank a bottle of Tsingtao,  Young’s Double Chocolate Stout, Fishbowl, some Coors light, and a bottle of hard Cider.  Talked to Danielle about some crazy girl who rejected me and is out to systematically isolate me by getting some mutual friends to cut me off.  Told her how fucked up it was she organised a party for a mutual friend and only invited people she knew or were in her clique.  Certain people who chilled with Edwin until the bitter end were not invited; not even several officers were offered the invite as I learned 0_o

Uncle Louie is a fucked up dood.  He was pre-gaming long before I met up with Monica at the restaurant-bar and kept saying random shit about how he kicked a cop in the nuts and got away with it; how he threatened to kick some bitch’s head off and he was hitting on every single girl at Stuff Yer Face.  We all took pictures of him chilling and shit.  He seems like a decent person when he is sober; I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Before that Chika was freaking out over her term bill because of Corzine.  Told her to talk it over with parents, RU financial aid, and look up info on government loans that she may qualify for.  Also to get in touch with EOF kids who were also fucked over.  I think she will be ok. =D

Crazy Dream

I had quite a crazy dream last night.  It was actually a replay of yesterday’s events where I offered Ted advice on his so-called revelations when he was bitten by the “Emo bug”.  After talking him down and informing him that his revelations are just distorted interpretation of the night’s misadventure, I quickly logged off my computer at work and proceeded to the train station.  After waiting for what seemed to be an eternity, I walked into the train and the next thing I knew I was falling.  I just kept falling down what seemed like a bottomless pit until I hit the ground thinking I would be pulverised by the momentum.

Instead of being pulverised, both my arms and legs were completely broken in two.   Someone familiar started to walk over and I told that person it was good to see this person again.  In response, this person takes a pair of taiko drumsticks and proceeds to beat me with them.  Where did the Escrima come from? I just don’t fucking understand: this individual was very friendly when I last talked to the said person.  The fact that this individual is beating me to a bloody pulp with weaponised taiko drums was the last thing on my mind.

A mutual friend stands on the side telling me that I brought it on myself, while another mutual friend looks on and snaps pictures on his digicam.  Two other mutual friends try to cheer me up and keep my mind off the torture.  The photographer walks over and sews my mouth shut and the two friendly mutual friends disappear when the torturer tells them to disperse.  The other guy stays around for some reason.

Two more guys come over.  They seem to be hiding something behind their backs, but I wasn’t sure.  I was looking into their eyes with a glimmer of hope.  I knew I did not spent much time befriending them, but I knew they were nice people.  They looked at the torturer and pulled out knives behind their backs and began stabbing me as I was being beaten by the drumsticks.

More friends and acquaintances I met showed up on the sidelines watching and talking amongst themselves.

One friend asked me why I abandoned him.

Another told me he didn’t know me anymore.

A girl said she wanted to stay neutral.

A guy said it can’t be helped.

An Otaku said I am a loser and it’s revenge.

Bill comes to my aid, but he reminds me of his condition.  He tries to break into the crowd but he is outnumbered.

Jehangir, Brennard, Zack, Marshall and Sinan are trying to break through the crowd but Will Mon somehow talks them out of it.

Faces and Friends from the past come to my aid, but they fade away like ghosts as soon as they get close to me…

I feel, I see and I hear flesh being torn, bones being cracked, and blood flowing out of me in nearly all directions.  I see crimson creeping around me and shadows closing in around me.  I blackout, thinking I would wake up…

I get up from the nightmare to see Kathleen looking down on me.  It turns out I am still here dying and looking for hope.  She tells me she is going to be with Scott and she’s sorry.

No wonder I didn’t want to go to work today…

Work Complete. NOT!

So now my boss feels I am ready to start training new members to use the service after looking over my revised user manual and training presentations.  I am a little on edge, but I will be ok since I have been prepped by both my predecessor and the traders in the AD department.  Sales department will also be on-hand to work alongside me on selecting members for training as well as giving pre-training advice (I hope).

I also learned that Ted has been bitten by the Emo bug since he is starting to worry about non-existant problems.

TED: This is what happens when you live on BUSCH CAMPUS too long…It does things to your psyche.  Good thing you moved to CAC to spend your final 2 years at Rutgers.

On a random note, I do think my mysterious stalker if the same person who is dating Sean.  I just checked Sean’s suhock.net and I see the same patterns on his logs that I saw on the Milton blog.  The only difference is the main referring URL for Sean’s xanga is his facebook profile while my referrer are Edwin’s latest blogs.  Why the hell is that girl “cyberstalking” me when she already made all signs that she wants me out of her life like the plague?  In a related question, why the fuck is Choi (based on Hudson County) also stalking me? Doesn’t he know yet?

I’m still sore from yesterday’s workout.

I find myself eating more of my Chinese Aunt’s homemade KimChi and playing StarCraft on battle.net more often.  I also find myself typing “ZERG RUSH KEKEKE!” or “Corea Champion!” during my rounds on battle.net and believing that Dokdo belongs to Corea…

Teach and Learn Chinese in Shanghai?

Nearly an hour of driving is over and we have reached the apartment complex. Carlos, my sister’s boyfriend, helps carry some of my luggage alongside me as we work our way to the elevators. At the apartment my sister shows me where I will be staying, which is the computer room with an mattress on the floor. I don’t seem to mind since it allows me quick access to the Internet and I am glad that I have my room instead of sharing it with my nephew as I had thought. After sorting out my clothes, camera, iPod, and other essential items, I went to eat dinner alongside my sister, Carlos and Zhanghua.

We had some traditional Chinese dishes. It was just the typical friend rice, steamed flounder, seasoned pork, and spinach. I was expecting Carlos to cook some Spanish cuisine, but he said that will come at another time.

“How was the flight to Shanghai?” Carlos asked me.

“It was ok. There were delays at JFK and another massive delay at the stopover at LAX. Most of the time I was sleeping on the flights and I just randomly called up some friends when I was stranded in LAX. It was just a long and hectic flight to finally see a sister who I haven’t talked to for many years and a chance to finally relax.” I told him.

“Good to hear, Jon. It’s good to know that you are hear to spend time with your sister and spend your time in Shanghai. This city has changed in the past months although you will not be aware of it. I think you are going to like it here and maybe you can help me improve my Mandarin,” Carlos said.

“Yes. I have already enrolled you in the same language institute as Carlos. You have been living in America for too many years. I am sure your English is better than me. However, your Chinese is not that good from what your uncle has told me,” my sister added.

“This is insane! What do you expect when I had to go to America and live with a bunch of Americanized relatives? Everyone spoke English and spoke their broken Mandarin with heavy American accents. Of course I’m going to be influenced by their sounds and culture. I just graduated from college and now you’re making to back to school? This is nonsense!” Replying to my sister with frustration and surprise.

“Fine. You do not have to go relearn Chinese if you can read the following headline in today’s newspaper,” my sister responds as she handed me the paper.

I looked at the newspaper and I started to carefully reading the headline before realizing this was all written in Simplified Chinese. It was something about the fighting in the Middle East, but I am not sure what it was specifically referring to. This was not good and I only wished they had taught Simplified Chinese instead of the traditional ones that are run by overseas Taiwanese and Hong Kong Chinese. What is even worse is that I have to read this in the perfect tones in Chinese. This was just going to be a challenge seeing that the Mandarin speakers around my town were either from Hong Kong or did not speak Mandarin as their native Chinese dialect.

“Ok, you win sis. I will go to the institute to study and help work on your boyfriend’s Chinese as well.” I told her.

My sister seemed happy that I was not only helping her boyfriend out, but she felt she was helping me in the long term. She was right, after all, by forcing to see that my Chinese had deteriorated much worse than I had previously believed. I really thought those Pimsleur Chinese language files I put on my iPod would help me relearn Mandarin; they really didn’t do that much to be frank. Carlos tried cheering me up by telling me that he usually goes to the local heath club after class and that he could get me in for free. I really think Carlos is just enthusiastic that there is actually someone who could spend time refining his Mandarin and serve as a bridge between the Eastern and Western culture. In any event, my inability to properly read and understand a simple newspaper headline gave me a wake-up call on how close I have come to losing a part of my identity.

Pathetic Lunch

Went to lunch with Kathleen today even though it was only for 2 hours.  She had given me the impression that we were going to hang out for most of the day from what was said in the phone call.  I also found out she had drank and dialed me last night because she was not enjoying the party she went to with Scott.  I had told her that I have a job down in Albany St and that whatever nonsense I was involved with is largely over.  I also implied that certain things happened in that semester were a result of things that happened between us in the very beginning of the Spring Semester.  It was just another way for me to move on and get my mind off being fucked over by Scott/Kathleen.

Near the end of lunch she received a phone call from Scott asking her to return to Busch campus to hang out with him.  She had told me before that her boyfriend places restrictions on what guy friends she can hang out with, which I find to be extremely pathetic, especially when trust is not an issue.  She keeps complaining that she is uncomfortable around Scott’s parents and friends, but she does nothing about it.  It’s such a vicious cycle, especially when Scott is leaving for Atlanta in a few months for work and school.  This arrangement is more agonising that the other incident that occurred later in the semester because I knew her, I was not given a chance, and this is a sad situation.  NJ is not the greatest place to meet people, especially those of the opposite sex.

New Jersey sucks.