Shanghai Kiss Review (Spoiler Alert)

Shanghai Kiss is overrated

Ken Leung plays a completely Whitewashed Asian-American who drops out of Columbia to pursue acting in LA while having a best friend who is bad with women.

Meanwhile the main character, Liam (played by Leung), is having trouble with his alcoholic father played by James Hong over a car accident that killed his mother.

Liam is later asked by his drunk father to go sell a house he inherited from his grandmother in Shanghai. So off he goes to Shanghai. Once there he meets up with his distant Chinese cousin who gets him a nice hotel and a hooker who Ken thinks is a nice girl.

They then go to sell the house but Ken refuses at the last minute because he was ignorant of the exchange rate. Note that Ken is completely Whitewashed in this flick and knows not one ounce of Chinese.

He then travels around the expat, and tourist districts in Shanghai, most notably Pudong district. At a high end bar he meets Micki (Kelly Hu) after ordering a chocolate martini with just a chocolate bar on a martini. They hit it off.

Oh wait, I forgot to mention the part played by Hayden Panettiere from “Heroes”. Basically Liam meets her character, Adelaide, in a bus after she draws him and they become good friends to the point where Liam gives her rides to School but doesn’t take her crush of him seriously. While Liam was about to have Hot Coffee with Miki, he gets a call from Adelaidewho wrote him a poem. He then recollects himself and does the deed with Micki.

Soon he makes a snap decision to stay in Shanghai and goes back to LA to collect some things. Adelaide is upset by this and Liam winds up hanging out with Miki. He stays there for about 2 months and still does not know a damn word of Mandarin other than how to say umbrella in Chinese when messing with a European tourist.

Ken continues seeing Miki until one day he is dragged into a limo by thugs under orders from Jai Li, played by Byron Mann, who claims to be Micki’s fiance. He threatens Liam and tells him he is just an American because he is Whitewashed and points out that White people stole the Native Americans’ land so he must be different.

After making these threats Jai Li, orders the car to stop in hybrid Cantonese-Mandarin and Liam finds himself trying to walk back to Pudong from the local slums.

He later buys a cellphone from a Chinese elderly woman who keeps telling him he is willing to borrow it after she is done talking in Mandarin, which Liam doesn’t understand. He later has lunch with Micki and learns that Jai Li is the one who helped her and her family get out of poverty. Micki blames Liam for not understanding problems in China when he gets upset over the situation.

Liam is heartbroken and tries to sell the house, then refuses at the last minute. Instead he transfers the deed to Micki and her family and then leaves Shanghai after learning he hasn’t found what he was looking for in China

He returns to LA and tries to find Adelaide, who is still pissed at him. He tells her to go explore the world and see life for what it is. Then he goes to New York to apologise and reconcile with his alcoholic father, who we assume goes sober from the meeting. Liam goes back to LA and is able to nail an audition by showing emotions he developed when he matured in his Shanghai adventure.

A year later, Adelaide is now barely legal and 18, so Ken goes to meet her at the airport when she returns from Paris. He sees her with some guy and he gets upset but he later runs into Hayden who tells him that guy is very gay so true love blossoms.

My take: I also found it weak that Ken just leaves China and leave Kelly Hu for an evil Jai Li, who is implied to be an idiot son of a corrupt Chinese Communist Party boss. At the same time, they only showed the good parts of Shanghai and I was surprised the Chinese government actually allowed them to make this movie.

I still find it sad that Ken could not speak any Chinese after spending 2 months in Shanghai although this was supposed to reflect Liam’s self-hate of his Asian heritage until he matures near the end. Overall, it was a nice movie exploring Asian-American Male alienation in the US and in the native country, but having the main character get with jailbait was too much for me.

Update: it seems there are idiots who have problems reading.  This review refers to Ken’s character Liam not Mr. Leung himself.  The movie was not as great as it should but it is a start if people read what I said instead of making emotional tirades about “AZN Prydez”.  Regardless of how I feel about this flick, buy the DVD so people who make such films will have more money to make better films…

Koreans and StarCraft

I sometimes can’t help but notice how StarCraft has become a part of South Korean culture as ignorance has for America in recent years. Many national StarCraft tournaments play on mainstream Korean television networks and major corporations actually sponsor players, who sometimes are able to secure lucrative endorsement deals. Most of all, many of these players become traders in the Korean stock market once they retire since financial institutions need their skills at making quick bid and ask orders on the stock exchanges.

Note that the intensity of the commentators over a simple quick game of StarCraft and the cheering fans. The game is supposedly popular to the point where average Korean schoolgirls knows that bunkers need to be build and staffed with marines to defend from a Zerg rush. Not surprisingly, the term “ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE” was popularised by Korean players playing against English-speakers on Battle.net.

Then you have Korean comedians developing skits around imitating StarCraft sounds…

I really don’t know why StarCraft has taken hold in South Korea. For one, this game doesn’t have anything remotely Korean in it and it was originally designed for western gamers in mind. Apparently, the popularity of StarCraft in Korea has also been credited with the growth of the Internet economy in South Korea and some books have been designed to teach Koreans English based on StarCraft terms.

Starcnomics is an academic look at the positive effects StarCraft has had on the Korean economy. A translation of the jacket summary reads:”StarCraft Syndrome”: It’s more than an obsession with and devotion to the most popular game in Korea. It’s the effect the game has had in generating new trends and socioeconomic changes. Economically, the syndrome created a new type of Korean industry or business that grew out of the needs of the times.

This book outlines the way in which the “StarCraft Syndrome” has led to a new business success strategy, a new business paradigm that combines the strengths of the digital age, cultural industry, new business models, and current social and cultural phenomena. At the same time, the book offers an unusual case study of gaming as a business model.

Then, StarCraft 2 was announced and this is an idea of its impact on Korea

With real news headlines saying the following:

South Korean fans rejoice as a game’s sequel is announced

South Korean gamers get a sneak peek at ‘StarCraft II’

Korean Navy to Launch Online Game Team

From what I have read StarCraft is popular in Korea because of the following reasons when it first came out in 1999

There are 3 factors contributing to the popularity of StarCraft in Korea:
1. StarCraft was a US game, which was exported to South Korea

2. Japanese consoles were illegal since laws at the time banned imports from Japan

3. Most gamers played in Internet Cafes (PC 방) that encouraged multiplayer at fair prices

Its business as usual…

These past four days have been interesting in America, as White America continues to remain in shock over the killings and coming to terms with the Model Minority stereotype.  For those who are unfamiliar with race relations in America, the “Model Minority” stereotype is a stereotype applied to all ethnic Asians in America who are typically stereotyped as being hard-working, bearing ethnic idiosyncrasies, excellent in the areas of math/science, extremely passive, and willing to adapt to the White power structure more willingly than other ethnic minorities in America.

With that being said, Asians in America have been traditionally stigmatised as being “ethnic”, weak, sexless, a jack-of-all-trades in academics, and most of all subservient.  It is safe to say those perceptions of Asians came crashing down on many Americans when Cho Seung-Hui finally made his move to release all his pent up rage, insanity on a Monday morning.  It didn’t really sink in until NBC and other news outlets in the world decided to air key excepts of his “manifesto” which depicted him as an awkward Asian-American who had a great deal of anger and committed to killing those who wronged him (whoever they may be).

Soon, people started seeing these images started to realise that this man could be the kid that hangs out with their children, the guy they work with, the guy who helps them out or just a random acquaintance that happens to be an Asian male.  Now people will consider Asian males to not only be good in math or science, but also capable of extreme psychotic acts of violence.    So far, a few Asians have related on various forums that their co-workers have started to look at them weird and reluctant to socialise with them while others no longer feel safe when traveling around predominantly White neighbourhoods.

Then there are idiotic acts such as this:

http://www.xanga.com/kenoak

i’m at michigan state at a frat house. just got word that 16 cars outside the international house on campus got vandalized… windshields smashed in. 14 of those cars were owned by koreans. this is almost certainly related to the virginia tech shooting. i’m really upset about this….. really upset. the kids are playing beer pong………

I would advise readers and Americans to refrain from revenge attacks against Asians because they are not like Cho Seung-Hui.  Remember that people are people and Cho’s act was no different from what happened in Columbine other than his ethnicity.  Despite what I just said, I am sure I will be profiled like many of my Asian peers in America save for Hawaii or California (where there is a sizable Asian population).

With that out of the way, it’s back to bashing the crap out of Sony and the Playstation 3.  From what have been circulating in videogame industry rags and enthusiast blogs, it appears that Sony’s European division will be “heavily restructured” meaning it will be downsized and it comes as no surprise that some top managers in Sony Computer Europe decided to call it quits.  The sales for the PS3 in Europe have already started to freefall after record sales in the initial weeks to the point where retailers in the United Kingdom are selling the systems as a loss just to liquidate their inventory.

On the upside, Sony finally released firmware 1.70, which made improvements in backward compatibility with PSone and PS2 games, allowed for emulation of downloaded PSone games, and allowed for rumble in old Playstation peripherals.  However, the downloadable PSone games will not be available in May and its also good to point out that Sony had about 7 firmware updates in the past year compared to Microsoft’s 2 revisions for the 360.  These improvised updates just come to show that Sony’s Playstation division and OS programmers are indeed run by the legally retarded just like Virginia Tech’s security.

Then the hardware sales in Japan also tell a story:

http://kotaku.com/gaming/media-create/simple-2000-the-japanese-hardware-sales-chart-250404.php

Nintendo must have been gutted of DS Lite supply, as this week saw a noticeable drop off in sales from last week’s hardware chart. Is the honeymoon over? Has the nation of Japan turned against its handheld leader? Doubtful. But even Wii sales were down considerably, so maybe that Blue Ocean is experiencing a red shift.

Despite an approximate drop of 50,000 in weekly sales, the DS Lite still sits proudly atop this week’s Media Create sales figures.

• Nintendo DS Lite - 79,897
• Wii - 51,365
• PSP - 39,077
• PlayStation 2 - 17,787
• PLAYSTATION 3 - 16,889
• Xbox 360 - 3,889
• Game Boy Advance SP - 609
• Game Boy micro - 588

Did you notice that PS2 sales exceeded PS3 sales? That may be due to Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+ and Musou Orochi selling so well. Still, ouch.

So the Playstation 3 is still being crushed by a modified Gamecube and being cannibalised by their own Playstation 2.  It’s interesting to see how the top two sellers in Japan last week were the Nintendo DS and Wii followed by a portable PS2 and the PS2 itself while the PS3 is barely close to the PS2′ sales.  One would think that Gundam Musou would have boosted the PS3’s sales, but it really did little in the long-run.

It has reached the point where some random people can cultivate an Internet following just by creating a running gag pretending to be an uneducated PS3 fanboy:

So despite all of the obscenity-laced rant about Wii games and Devil May Cry no longer being a PS3-exclusive, the video points out that the “PSTriple” doesn’t have any good games worth talking about and parodies the fanboys who go on bashing popular games on the Wii or 360.  This was supposed to be a one-time joke by the Chad Warden fellow, but many of the PSTriple fanboys were actually dumb enough to use this video in defending their $600-plus investment in what can now be considered more of a “cheap” blu-ray player (assuming Sony can win that format war).

Speaking of stupidity, Taiwan Province decided to make a prank call pretending to be attacked by a killer in a university just to test police response time about three days after Monday’s shootings:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6571361.stm

Two MPs who faked a hostage-taking at Taiwan’s top university after the US school shootings have been condemned by the island’s governing party.

The Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) made a public apology after two MPs reported that students had been taken hostage at National Taiwan University.

Armed police rushed to the campus, only to be told that the call was a hoax aimed at testing their response time.

The pair may face disciplinary action, but have defended their action.

Police who rushed to scene found Lee Chen-nan and another legislator, Lin Kuo-ching, on campus with a number of reporters.

The hoax drew sharp criticism from the DPP, which issued an apology, and from Taiwan’s cabinet, which said authorities would investigate whether the MPs broke any laws.

Why is Taiwan Province turning into a goddamn living joke to the point where Zhejiang Province looks more respectable?   Three days after the shooting and during examination week the two legislators from the “Democratic Progressive Party”, the party that wants total war with China, decide to make a crank call just to test police response time.  Both legislators justified their actions because it was supported by students who wanted to avoid the exams, without realising that they could encourage copycat pranks in the long-run.

The world turns and things will be back to business for the most part

Prison Break will not be seen tonight…

Because the series ended its run 2 weeks ago with our heroes trapped in Panama for various reasons.  There will not be a Prison Break Season 2, Episode 23 or even an Episode 24 for that matter.  Instead we have a show called “Drive”, a show that resembles “Cannonball Run” with drama, as a replacement until Season 3 returns in the fall.  There is much apprehension about the plot for Season 3 since there were science-fiction elements being alluded in the final episode.

It’s interesting to see how popular the show “Prison Break” is outside of the United States with viewers from Europe, Asia, Australia, South America, and Africa.  However, today I’m not going to talk about Prison Break, but instead focus on the shootings in Virgina Tech in America.

As of this writing there have been 33 people killed including the gunman himself.  This was one of the worst school shootings in the United States for some time. According to preliminary reports, there were two different shootings that occurred in the University earlier today.

There were two incidents two hours apart, at a student dorm where two were killed and at an engineering building where 30 and the gunman died.

Officers said they were working to link the attacks and had not yet identified the gunman. Fifteen people were hurt.

Early reports suggest that the shooter was a 22-year-old Asian male that went on a killing spree because he was rejected by a girl.  Officials have not identified the shooter as of yet.  The shooter began his killing spree by walking into a dormitory and shot 2 people in their sleep and then proceeded to shoot random people in a lecture hall 2 hours later.  I find it disturbing that campus security did nothing to alert the student body until the killer struck again two hours later to bring the death toll to about 32 people.   Eyewitnesses at the scene are now stating that the shooter was a tall Asian male who shot all those students.

It’s also pathetic that the best the university could do to warn students was send a mass email to the students’ university email accounts.  This really isn’t the best way to prevent a bloodbath since A) not all students check (let alone use) their university accounts, B) a public announcement would have saved more lives, and C) not all students were in a position to check their university warnings.

Some eyewitnesses described the events that unfolded in their university:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/6561335.stm 

I live in West AJ on the third floor. Apparently it all began around 0700 this morning, when the gunman shot and killed one person on the fourth floor. He may have shot other people in the dorm too. Now the police are telling us at least 22 people have been killed (counting the shooter himself). This is very scary, and we are shocked that something like this could happen here in Blacksburg. It really is a very quiet, rural, small town in Southwest Virginia.
Josh Shiben, Blacksburg, VA

I am a student at Virginia Tech and was in my dormitory at 10:30 when I FINALLY got word about the shootings. I was on my way out to class when I was stopped by a hallmate telling me about what was going on. Students are now coming back to the dorms. I have a friend who is in the building behind Norris and is surrounded by students and faculty who were in Norris. One girl expressed how she saw many bloody bodies. We are being advised to stay in the dorm, but information from the University is slow, although the news coverage has been the best source of information. Why weren’t we warned after the FIRST shooting?
Bethany Zimmerman, Blacksburg Virginia

Its ironic how students from state universities such as Rutgers or Virginia Tech wanted greater visibility among the world and from their fellow Americans and to not dismiss their school due to their lack of familiarity.  Last week we had Imus making racist remarks towards the Rutgers University Women’s Basketball team and now we have a deranged Asian shooter taking out 33 people in Virginia Tech.  My condolences go to those who were seriously injured and killed from this crazed student.

To the Bananas, Twinkies, AZN-pryde, Triad poseur-wannabees and other assorted nutcases…

To the Bananas, Twinkies, AZN-pryde, Triad poseur-wannabees and other assorted nutcases…

By Barret Ng

Do you think you’re a Twinkie? Or a banana? Please stop. A Twinkie is a pound cake. It has a creamy, white filling and saturated with hydrogenated fat. A banana is a fruit. You peel it and eat it. You’re not a Twinkie or a banana. If you must put a label on yourself, at least pick something that’s a little more dignified.

AZN-gangsta wannabees. Those who purposely talk Ebonics, listen to hip-hop, and walk around in oversized jerseys and droopy pants looking like they’re gonna slide right off like it ain’t no thang. I understand you’re going through a phase. Mommy and Daddy were strict Confucian disciplinarians, always told you to study real hard, and did their very best to turn you into a nice, little nerd.

It’s understandable that you’d go outta your way to portray yourself with an image that’s the diametrical opposite of William Hung in your rebellious state.  I like to remind you that high school lasts for only four years and if you’re still in that phase during college years and even well after that, you’re pretty fucking pathetic.

If you’re gonna ’soup-up’ your used Honda Civic or Acura Integra at least do it tastefully for fuck’s sake, instead of the gaudy, eye-sore riced shit I see. Stop talking about the ‘House of VTEC’ and how your shit 4-cylinder engines are ‘gonna burn’ like in that Initial D game. Get rid of the cutesy dash ornaments that you got from your girlfriend’s Hello Kitty shop because that shit’s gay. Stop trying to say words like ‘motherfucker’ like you’re Samuel L Jackson. You’re not Sam Jackson. You’re just a punk fool with identity issues. Saying ‘motherfuckin sum bitch’ doesn’t work very well and have the same effect when your voice breaks up into a high pitch mid-stream.

Oh and when you’re out cruising and clubbing, it really helps if you actually danced, danced well, and went up to chicks and asked them to dance and did all those other normal “club things”, instead of just standing in the corner being a useless poseur, alright yo? Finally, get your own fucking style. Don’t be a cheap Asian imitation of a Black, hip-hop, gangsta hood. You’re an embarrassment to your own kind. Be original.

To think of the hard-working Asian parents who sacrifice so much (like their dignity) to have their children grow up in the States to master English and this is the payoff.  And have you ever noticed how white and Asian kids who act “Black” (read: 50 Cent, Lil’Kim) with their other poseur friends become awkwardly silent when around people who are actually black? Too funny.