Thank You Amy Tan: Support the Joy Luck Club!

Thank You Amy Tan: Support the Joy Luck Club!
By Captain Livingston

Asian doll. Tight, submissive, exotic, mysterious and sultry. She shrieks at the sight of a mouse. She takes insults as a reminder to improve upon her flawed self. She is the survivor of abuse by Asian men from her past, just as she watched her mother abused by the hands of her father. She endures. She sits quietly alone, waiting for her White knight to sweep her away from generations of misery. Who is she?

She is a fantasy Asian woman created by Amy Tan to get Asian girls into the hands of the White guys like us.

My campaign, or better put, my goal is simple: to promote Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club in the reading lists of high schools and universities across the nation to get more White guys like myself with Asian girls. Right now, the Joy Luck Club (JLC) is currently used by academic institutions in the US and is known by us White guys as a novel that is “Draws Asian girls to [us]“. Through Amy Tan and her novel, the images of self-loathing Asian women and abusive, wicked Asian men have reached the millions across the nation, much to our favor.

In my campaign to promote JLC for schools, I have enlisted the support of Asian-American women’s groups, fraternities, pornographers, the Republican Party, and any Asiaphile group of every feasible nature. I am not looking to wipe out all Asian males nor am I looking to ignore White women. I just want more Asian girls to learn about Amy Tan and her wonderful novel so more White guys like me can enjoy them.

What I love most about her is the way she plays upon all of the Asian stereotypes. Asian women are depicted as lonely miserable characters whose ultimate salvation comes when united in marriage with a White male (us). Furthermore, she mercilessly smears all of the Asian male characters, confining them to the role of the wife-abuser, pervert, weakling or the nit-picking egomaniac, which is party true from my own observations. This novel really represents the Asian American experiences and it is loved by critics, in addition to being popular with Asian girls and us White guys.

Amy Tan (who in real life was swept away by a white man) said herself that she would never date Asian men because she would not date her father or her brother, and this only helps our cause. I truly respect and believe her as a major figure of the collective voice of Asian-Americans and I really don’t think it’s right to question her thinking because that would be racist.

When chatting with Asian girls of every background online, they all said that the story is a major reason why they only date White guys. I must confess that there were parts to JLC that I could relate to, such as the generational and cultural gap the main characters felt with their parents. Nevertheless, alongside these anecdotes came, what I felt, were interesting generalizations that brought back memories of the abusiveness and arrogance that I faced from Asian nerds and thugs in high school.

So long as JLC and Amy Tan are the only widely recognized products of Asian American literature, Asian girls will date us more. I hope others will enjoy reading Amy Tan because she is both a very engaging writer and gives us a the truth at what Asian women had to suffer from in her pages.

Britons ’saving money with sex’

BBC NEWS
Britons ’saving money with sex’

As the credit crunch bites, Britons may be turning to sex as a cheap way to pass the time, a charity says.

A YouGov survey of 2,000 adults found sex was the most popular free activity, ahead of window shopping and gossiping.

The Scots were most amorous with 43% choosing sex over other pastimes, compared with 35% in South England.

Aids charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, which published the survey, also welcomed recent figures showing an increase in condom sales.

Around one in 10 respondents to the survey, carried in November, said their favourite free activity was window shopping and 6% chose going to a museum as the cheapest way to pass the time.

But the sexes differed on their priorities, with women preferring to gossip with friends while men had sex firmly at the top of their list.

Safe sex

Publishing the results to coincide with World Aids Day, the Terrence Higgins Trust reminded people to practise safe sex and pointed out that a packet of condoms costs a fraction of the cost of a night out.

Lisa Power, head of policy, said: We’re glad that people are finding ways of relieving some of their credit crunch woes, but if there’s one thing it’s worth forking out for, it’s condoms.

“Alternatively you can get them free from family planning and sexual health clinics.

“Rates of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections are on the up so when you snuggle down with a partner, make sure you do it safely.”

Rebecca Findlay, from the Family Planning Association advised: “If anyone’s having more sex at the moment whatever the reason, do think about your contraception, your condoms and any testing you might need for sexually transmitted infections.

“And you can get all of these for free on the NHS.”

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/7755315.stm

Published: 2008/12/01 01:49:38 GMT

© BBC MMVIII

Why Yellow Fever is Bad for the Asian community

INTELLIGENT, cultured, 22y/o wm seeking Asian women (pref. Nihonese)

---

Date: 2008-10-16, 3:29AM EDT

Hello ladies of the internet!I am here today, as are you, to find the love of my life ideally. Now, I am an introspective and reflective man so over my life I’ve come to realise exactly what I’m looking for in my ideal woman.

Personally, I am 22 years old, my name is Perseus, I am attending U of T in the final year of my Engineering degree, and I am a little on the chubby side. I am a dedicated Green party voter and staunchly opposed to the Conversative hordes dashing themselves against the impregnable Liberal/NDP/Green keep of our fine enlightened city. I am fond of discussing philosophy and the meaning of life over a glass of wine in the ‘even. As hobbies go, I am an avid gamer and enjoy delving into the myriad artistic realities of animé (the origin of my affinity for Asian culture, which is frankly superior).

You MUST fulfill the following requirements:
- Asian
- Woman
- Aged NO MORE THAN 23
- – and NO LESS THAN 16
- Petite build. Ideally no more than 115 lbs.
- – but no ‘Paris Hilton’ bulimics please! I like my women with some meat on them.
- Like sushi, animé, and video games.

BONUSES include:
- Japanese heritage
- Large collection of animé and manga
- Glasses
- Interest in cosplay and roleplaying
- Traditional Ladies’ education

I must stress again that this is for a SERIOUS, long term relationship. Not some ‘fling’ as though I were a boy toy to be tossed aside.

• Location: Toronto
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

These people scare me. I sometimes see them in networking events or meetups crowding around the cute Asian girl and scaring the crap around them. Once that girl starts talking to one of them, the rest swarm in like sharks in a feeding frenzy on a wounded dolphin. Obviously the sharks being the weird White guys and the dolphin being the girl in this example. The more you know…

Some activists and feminists have interpreted Yellow Fever as a form of racist love.

Introspective musicology: the soundtrack to our lives.

introspective musicology: the soundtrack to our lives. we all have them, some strange mixture of karaoke classics, queen-level ballads, heart thumping hip hop and head banging metal. the purpose of IM is exploring how one relates to these soundtracks, how an artist can understand another, not through interaction, but through those tracks that the individual feels is significant to their lives. it is an examination to symbolic meaning, as well as how individual pieces can create a collective whole.

Here are some that are the current soundtrack of my life (in no particular order) for a friend’s art project.  It has its ups and downs along with its moments:

1. Depeche Mode – Never Let Me Down Again -

2. Joy Division – Atmosphere -

3. New Order – True Faith -

4. The Beatles – Strawberry Fields Forever -

5. The Beatles – Getting Better -

6. Faithless – God Is A DJ -

7. Angel y Khriz – Ven Bailalo -

8. Starsailor – Love is Here -

9. Madonna – I Want You (Feat. Massive Attack) -

10. The Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness -

11. Robbie Williams – Rock DJ -

12. David Bowie – I’m Afraid Of Americans -

13. U2 – With Or Without You -

14. Sex Pistols – Anarchy In The U.K -

15. The Chemical Brothers – Galvanize -

Saudi Arabia hates Facebook

Saudi woman killed for chatting on Facebook

By Damien McElroy Foreign Affairs Correspondent
Last Updated: 1:39AM BST 01 Apr 2008

A young Saudi Arabian woman was murdered by her father for chatting on the social network site Facebook, it has emerged.

The unnamed woman from Riyadh was beaten and shot after she was discovered in the middle of an online conversation with a man, the al-Arabiya website reported.

The case was reported on a Saudi Arabian news site as an example of the “strife” the social networking site is causing in the Islamic nation.

Saudi preacher Ali al-Maliki has emerged as the leading critic of Facebook, claiming the network is corrupting the youth of the nation.

“Facebook is a door to lust and young women and men are spending more on their mobile phones and the Internet than they are spending on food,” he said.

The woman was murdered in August but her death was highlighted following Maliki’s comments.

Social customs and religious rules oblige women in Saudi Arabia to cover their head and figure with a veil so that men are not distracted by the female form.

Critics also allege that Facebook is an avenue for the promotion of homosexual relations in Saudi Arabia. More than 6,500 people have signed the online petition in a bid to stop the conservative Muslim kingdom following Syria in banning access to the network from local internet servers.

There are estimated to be more than 30,000 Facebook users in the oil-rich kingdom. Many Saudi women use nicknames and post comic images or drawings on their pages instead of photographs. Some Saudi bloggers have dubbed the network “Faceless”.

Women users’ contact details and email addresses are often pseudonymous. The popularity of sites for singles has broken taboos on people making contact outside family and class connections.

One of the most popular Facebook groups among Saudi Arabian youth is Single and Looking in Saudi Arabia, which has 1,823 members and hosts many sexually explicit images.

And the world still buys oil from one of the last absolute and corrupt monarchies in the world?  Facebook is really becoming like myspace.  I hope Mark Zuckerberg and his team are happy.

Man killed wife in Facebook row

Man killed wife in Facebook row

A man has been jailed for life for stabbing his wife to death over a posting she made on the social networking site Facebook.

Wayne Forrester, 34, told police he was devastated that his wife Emma, also 34, had changed her online profile to “single” days after he had moved out.

The Old Bailey heard Forrester drove to her home in Croydon, south London, and attacked the mother-of-two.

He stabbed her with a kitchen knife and a meat cleaver on 18 February.

Forrester, who pleaded guilty to murder, was ordered to serve a minimum term of 14 years.

Judge Brian Barker, the Common Serjeant of London, told him: “You committed a terrible act. There is no possible excuse or justification.

“This is a tragic killing and what you have done has caused untold anguish.”

What on earth could Emma have done to result in such a brutal, callous attack?
Liza Rothery, victim’s sister

Forrester, an HGV driver, was drunk and high on cocaine when he attacked the mother of two in the early hours as she slept.

He beat her, tore out clumps of her hair, and repeatedly stabbed her in the head and neck.

Neighbours were woken up by her screams. They found him sitting outside the house covered in blood and called the police.

The court heard Forrester thought his wife, a payroll administrator, was having an affair and had threatened to kill her.

The couple, who had been together for 15 years, had a “volatile” marriage, jurors were told.

‘Devastated and humiliated’

The day before the murder, he called her parents and complained about his wife’s Facebook entry which he said “made her look like a fool”, the court heard.

In a statement to police Forrester said: “Emma and I had just split up. She forced me out.

“She then posted messages on an internet website telling everyone she had left me and was looking to meet other men.

“I loved Emma and felt totally devastated and humiliated about what she had done to me.”

In a victim impact statement, Mrs Forrester’s sister Liza Rothery said the murder had had a “devastating” impact on her and parents Frances and Robert.

Miss Rothery added: “What on earth could Emma have done to result in such a brutal, callous attack on a defenceless woman?”
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7676285.stm

Published: 2008/10/17 14:36:44 GMT

Congratulations Mark Zuckerberg: You’ve now brought Facebook to the levels seen on MySpace.

Exclusive First Look: The Sarah Palin Porn Flick

Exclusive First Look: The Sarah Palin Porn Flick

Hustler Video is shooting a porn with a look-alike, titled “Nailin’ Paylin.” The spelling is sic and so is Hustler.
The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes. The video is in pre-production, but is being fast tracked for release before the election.
“YOU WANT ME TO PUT WHAT WHERE?” Not porn actress
So the company that placed an ad on Craiglist seeking a Sarah Palin lookalike for a porn shoot? Hustler! A spokesperson for founder Larry Flynt confirms that the film has already been shot, but wouldn’t release the name.

Flynt did, however, provide Radar with a copy of the script. (For what it’s worth, the working title appears to be Riding Pipeline.) Here’s the first scene. [CAUTION: GRAPHIC CONTENT]

(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading “all of the magazines.” She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door. PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)

PALIN: Who is it?

GRUFF MALE VOICE: It’s JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.

(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)

PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?

JOE: I’m sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.

PALIN: Well, you’re in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don’t you come inside and I’ll fix you a plate of ‘em?

(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)

PALIN: My oh my. That’s quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.

JOE: I have a big hammer.

PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America’s diverse tools, big and small. They’re what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let’s go take a look at the tanning bed first.

PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.

PALIN: (seductively) You’re in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!

JOE: I’m bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?

PALIN: It’s okay. I already took a morning-after pill.

JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?

PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I’ll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can’t even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!

(After 10 minutes, the two finish.)

PALIN: Wow-eee. I haven’t had a ride that good since Todd took me for a spin on the back of his Yamaha at the Tesoro Iron Dog.

JOE: That was amazing. What now?

PALIN: I feel so alive! Let’s grab my gay friend and go shoot wolves from the safety of a helicopter.

(End scene)
By Neel Shah 10/02/08 1:45 PM
Related: Hustler, Politics, Sarah Palin, Trail Mix

http://www.tmz.com/2008/10/08/get-a-load-of-this-whos-nailin-palin-script-1/

I don’t know…

I really don’t know how some people constantly complain and vent about Asian-American social issues on an almost daily basis when I even have a hard time thinking of something to write about.  Between watching the financials imploding and finding free time to exercise, I just don’t know how people with full-time jobs can devote so many hours venting about being Asian.

For those guys who vent about not being able to approach White girls to dating them, I’ll let you in on a secret: just be yourself.  Be yourself as in the well-rounded person, with all the strengths and quirks, that someone would want in their lives either as a friend or much more.  Just start a conversation on something relevant at that particular time and go from there.  The only instances where I saw Asian guys having issues with White girls were when they started exhibiting stereotypical Asian mannerisms as seen in traditional Hollywood portrayals (arrogant, insecure, uptight, overanalytical) or not knowing English.  Otherwise, it’s like any other relationship.

For the really insecure Asian guys who are starting to annoy me, let me say this: STOP IT.  These are the guys who still try to confront the girl (White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc) long after they don’t want to go on a second date.  I had the unfortunate instance of being dragged in by my friend to help keep that guy from confronting her. I don’t know the details, but the guy was making himself look like an even bigger ass by doing that.  He could have just accepted the situation, stayed on good terms with the girl and met her friends (who may be better people).

For the guys who have issues with non-Asian girls, they seem to be hardwired to believe that those girls are special when they’re not.  Whether they are White girls, Black girls, Latinas, or mixed girls, they are just girls and they are often overrated compared to Asian girls.  The moment guys overidealise an ethnic girl is the moment when they start acting strange or find themselves unable to converse because they are easily intimidated by the non-Asian girl by virtue of her ethnicity.

For the insecure Asian guys, it seems like they are the unfortunate by-product of either parents or the school system accomodating them.  Hence, this results in entitlement issues for these guys.  It’s possible that they may have grown up believing things will usually go their way if they work like slaves regardless of how others feel.  It’s possible they may have been consistently accommodated by their parents or school systems with constant recognition and rewards to the point where they feel they should get something based on perceived superiority or success.  The reality is, none of us are entitled to anything and sometimes things do not work out as expected.  Getting overly confrontational and insecure when things don’t go as expected will not change the situation and will rub people the wrong way.

So that is my rant for the night because I can’t sleep.  This week may be yet another wacky week with the bailout being finalised for voting, Wachovia getting into some trouble, Neo-Nazis gaining seats in Austria’s parliament, tainted Chinese milk, and work.

RIP Paul Newman.

Prison Break Season 4, Episode 3

Prison Break sucks now.  I am on vacation and so far its going well with the exception of HSBC Canada giving me grief, learning something unpleasant relating to a girl, and needless drama at work.  Otherwise things are going smoothly.

DEPECHE MODE – Martyr

I’ve been a martyr for love
And I will die in the flames
As I draw my last breath
As I’m close in on death
I will call out your name

I’ve been a martyr for love
Nailed up on the cross
While you’re having your fun
As the damage is done
I’m assessing the cost

I knew what I was letting myself in for
I knew that I could never even the score

I’ve been a martyr for love
I need to be by your side
I have knelt at your feet
I have felt you deceit
Could have leave if I tried

I’ve been a martyr for love
Tortured every hour
From the day I was born
I’ve been moved like a pawn
By the greatest of powers

I knew that I would have to suffer in vain
A way that I would never outgrow the pain

I’ve been a martyr for love
I’ve been a martyr for love
I’ve been a martyr for love

On…Being Led On, Socials, Get togethers

This past week has been interesting.  On Tuesday, I learned that my dinner date had a French boyfriend and I was basically led on.  It wasn’t one of those instances where she just said that for the sake of cutting me off seeing that she wrote a few paragraphs on how she wanted to invite me to parties and meet her friends before casually dropping the surprise on me.  What was worse is that we had spent weeks going back and forth to get this date setup.

It is one thing to lie to me to not go on another date, but what she did was simply wrong and inconsiderate.  I regret wasting my last Thursday night on a date when I could have been spending more time with my friends at their respective happy hours/parties.  I don’t deserve to be mistreated and taken for granted by such a person.  It’s people like this that give people a reason to stay single and distrust one another.

Wednesday to Friday was just after work socials or happy hours.  Each of these events went into the late hours of the night and I made it home extremely worn out.  It was a miracle that I was able to get much of my deliverables done by the end of this week.  It was so much fun that my traditional medicine doctor said she noticed that my liver had been overactive recently.  The socials helped me deal with the unpleasantness and reminded me of the simpler and better things in life.

I really enjoyed the randomness and fun on my socials and I was glad to have met some cool people in the process.

Today I finally got together with a friend that I haven’t seen in person for months other than chats on facebook and skype. We ate out at a place called Lili’s Noodle Shop and Grill that served Asian fusion and sushi at 102 North End Ave in Lower Manhattan.  I had the dinner special which was Lamb and Scallions served with Strawberry boba tea and Green Tea Ice Cream for dessert.

The atmosphere was pleasant and ideal for get togethers and casual dinner dates.  I would recommend it for people looking for a cozy restaurant with a wide selection of food, drinks and desserts.

Afterwards we went to the East Village to visit another friend where we watched a campy Japanese horror-comedy before trying out a new board game he got.  The night was fun, random, and it was worth it.

Also, I found out my cousin proposed to his long-time girlfriend and she said YES.