What’s the use in being a ‘nice guy’?
Sinan Aladdin, guest commentary
The other day in the cafeteria couple of female students were discussing why guys are such “assholes.” It’s not usually something that I just sit down and ponder about, but their chatter left me with deep thoughts, namely (1) Why are so many guys assholes, and (2) Why do so many women fall for them in spite of their complaints?
Now, I have always been the nice guy, the classic hopeless romantic, the one who believes in love at first sight, the guy who will want to save the girl and love her like no else can.
Now, come closer, no, even closer than that, I have a secret: Hopeless romantics get the royal screw-over! Hopeless romantics equal doormat.
What exactly is it about assholes that get women flocking to the them? Let me let you in on something vital. The trait that most women find appealing is confidence.
You see, the classic nice guy is out to please everybody. His confidence relies on making others happy, therefore, his confidence is not truly the result of who he is.
The asshole, doesn’t give a damn about anybody. He’s out to just please himself. This badassness exudes confidence; he’s saying, “Love me or leave me!” This is just the sort of attitude the draws attention from women.
What it comes down to is that women are looking for a guy with a brass pair. This sort of confidence is a show of strength (not to be confused with physical force), and this show of strength is a show of security.
I already know that some people will argue that women who stick with assholes are that way because they were abused when they were younger. While this may be true in a few unfortunate cases, the fact that so many women are successful and are still attracted to assholes shows that they were just attracted to the attitude.
Few guys are born being assholes. It’s something that develops early on. Boy likes girl, boy and girl date, boy and girl break up, boy gets bitter. For whatever reason after that, many guys have a difficult time trusting again. And many become emotionally detached, if not outright insensitive.
The guy no longer wants to put in the effort, trust, time and emotions to risk hurting his ego again. But that doesn’t stop him from going out and getting more women.
Despite his insensitivity and infidelity, this type of guy never seems to have trouble having women fall for him.
Many of my friends of the opposite sex complain about all of the assholes that they get involved with. And of course, when asked why they won’t break up with them, I get the same response: “It’s just not that simple.”
Assholes draw women like a moth to a flame. The moth knows she’s going to get burned but she just can’t look away. The asshole then gets affirmation for his behavior.
So boys, the secret to loving women and getting them to love you back is simple: You have got to love yourself. If you can honestly walk around with out feeling insecure, I guarantee you, no matter how out of shape you are, or out of style you may be, you’ll get some.
Now before I start getting hate mail, I want to add that there are, as always, exceptions. Every now and then, the nice guy doesn’t finish last and gets the girl of his dreams. After which, the asshole steals her away.
Sinan Aladdin is a senior majoring in history and political science.