So I’ve been dumped a research project to call up all Associate Members to find their lead sources and their views on the service so far. Its mixed with some Members having problems while others are just loving it for our tech support. Work is becoming routine to an extent where I train some clients, do minor admin work, random projects, and then go online during downtime. After work, its the gym then home for downloaded films, shows and comics for that week. I find that sometimes the weekend can be very random depending on the plans made at the beginning of the week and on others’ availability.
At times it does feel like I am isolated from the boredom that I am blocking off through leisurely activities and attempts to spend time with friends. Other times, the fact that Rutgers is across the street from my office can get to me, knowing that the good bad and ugly are still just a block away. When I first started work, I usually got up early, ate breakfast and caught the 9:15 train to work. Now, I just squeeze as much time as I can in bed, skip breakfast and catch the 8:41 train to work. Again, I feel the way I think; if I think my life sucks I will feel like crap.
There were people I can talk to about these matters; but they have either changed, went away or out of the country. Kathleen is just dependent on me as a substitute for her Scott, Will is Willmon, and the rest are either changing or just off-the-grid. I am bitter that my sister would actually have the nerve to give me false promises and then screw me over at the very last minute because of snap decisions. She just tells me to go with the flow, but she has no fucking clue how much bullshit I have had to deal with in this jerkoff state.
On another note, my uncle has been diagnosed with lung cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy to treat it. There is much more to this than most people know but I will leave it at that.
It is not recommended to go looking for love for it will lead to despair and dead ends. The best way to approach this problem is to just meet new people as much as possible. Maybe something will click or not. Looking for love will attract the wrong people who will use you or simply take you for granted.
New Jersey still sucks. Cannibal Holocaust the film is very disturbing on many levels.