Thank You Amy Tan: Support the Joy Luck Club!

Thank You Amy Tan: Support the Joy Luck Club!
By Captain Livingston

Asian doll. Tight, submissive, exotic, mysterious and sultry. She shrieks at the sight of a mouse. She takes insults as a reminder to improve upon her flawed self. She is the survivor of abuse by Asian men from her past, just as she watched her mother abused by the hands of her father. She endures. She sits quietly alone, waiting for her White knight to sweep her away from generations of misery. Who is she?

She is a fantasy Asian woman created by Amy Tan to get Asian girls into the hands of the White guys like us.

My campaign, or better put, my goal is simple: to promote Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club in the reading lists of high schools and universities across the nation to get more White guys like myself with Asian girls. Right now, the Joy Luck Club (JLC) is currently used by academic institutions in the US and is known by us White guys as a novel that is “Draws Asian girls to [us]”. Through Amy Tan and her novel, the images of self-loathing Asian women and abusive, wicked Asian men have reached the millions across the nation, much to our favor.

In my campaign to promote JLC for schools, I have enlisted the support of Asian-American women’s groups, fraternities, pornographers, the Republican Party, and any Asiaphile group of every feasible nature. I am not looking to wipe out all Asian males nor am I looking to ignore White women. I just want more Asian girls to learn about Amy Tan and her wonderful novel so more White guys like me can enjoy them.

What I love most about her is the way she plays upon all of the Asian stereotypes. Asian women are depicted as lonely miserable characters whose ultimate salvation comes when united in marriage with a White male (us). Furthermore, she mercilessly smears all of the Asian male characters, confining them to the role of the wife-abuser, pervert, weakling or the nit-picking egomaniac, which is partly true from my own observations. This novel really represents the Asian American experiences and it is loved by critics, in addition to being popular with Asian girls and us White guys.

Amy Tan (who in real life was swept away by a white man) said herself that she would never date Asian men because she would not date her father or her brother, and this only helps our cause. I truly respect and believe her as a major figure of the collective voice of Asian-Americans and I really don’t think it’s right to question her thinking because that would be racist.

When chatting with Asian girls of every background online, they all said that the story is a major reason why they only date White guys. I must confess that there were parts to JLC that I could relate to, such as the generational and cultural gap the main characters felt with their parents. Nevertheless, alongside these anecdotes came, what I felt, were interesting generalizations that brought back memories of the abusiveness and arrogance that I faced from Asian nerds and thugs in high school.

So long as JLC and Amy Tan are the only widely recognized products of Asian American literature, Asian girls will date us more. I hope others will enjoy reading Amy Tan because she is both a very engaging writer and gives us a the truth at what Asian women had to suffer from in her pages.

8 thoughts on “Thank You Amy Tan: Support the Joy Luck Club!

  1. Amy Tan is the only reason why I started dating White and Indian girls. I agree that Amy Tan is a bitch and her stereotype of Chinese men being assholes have made me has made me think that all (East) Asian women are bitches (except my mother of course).

    Great job on your novel. Keep up the good work! Amy Tan has successfully conformed me into believing that all Asian women are bitches. Good Job, Bitch!

  2. Haha, this is very well written. Note also that Tan the Traitor fulfills her own prophecy of marrying a white guy 😀

    Nothing against you guys, I love you all, but it’s just that most Asian women who grow up westernized have self-esteem/rebellion/daddy issues. Do the rest of us Asian men a favor and make them fall in love with you, then ditch them like a bad habit 😉 they deserve it.

  3. I am in China. For 30 years’ observation, Asian women are not all, but mostly bitches. When you be polite and reason with them, they play malicious and arrogant to you. When you leave them behind, they pretend to be swept away and abused. White guys often say ‘women always play dumb to you’. But for Chinese women, they play malicious to you. Their logic is ‘I am a women and I have one more hole than men. So I should use any man malicious and shamelessly, including men haven’t fucked her or don’t want to.’
    Before 70s generation of Chinese, still there are good hard working women. Now only selfish bitches in this country. Well, every Chinese bitch please get a white guy to cheat and to bully. I have no interest. They more I know them, the less sultry I felt on them. Only disgusting left. Besides, I felt sorry for some white women and men like Jake Cherry, Joyce Cherry, David Wolf, Bruce Churchill, Keith Rupert Murdoch. Check this page, which is the only one for its English language are censored (normally when white guys talking about censorship. It means China)
    I feel really sorry for Mr Jake Cherry, who was used by a Chinese bitch to get the green card of US. By the way, this doesn’t mean every Chinese is biologically so mean. If that is true, who work for the country to make the world’s second largest economic entity? Don’t tell me it is all depends on bitches like Amy Tan. I want to date a white girl, anyone interested? I follow the rules of America.

  4. I have read almost all of Amy Tan’s fictional novels (except for one) and there are positive portrayals of Asian men in them. Out of all her novels, only two (out of the ones I’ve read) feature Asian women being married to/ dating white men. Joy Luck Club is fiction… most people would know not to use that as a guide to their love-life, except for those chicks Captain Livingston keeps picking up. It sounds like he is just preying on that fact as well (if his article is serious) which makes him just as bad.

  5. Actually, amy Tan puts Asian women off white guys. She’s not very popular in the Asian-American community.

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