Ben Bernanke: “Words cannot describe how happy I am that Ron Paul is retiring.”

Ben Bernanke: “Words cannot describe how happy I am that Ron Paul is retiring.”

~While I was walking past the lobby of JP Morgan’s headquarters at 60 Wall St., I ran into FED Chairman Ben Bernanke, who had just concluded a private meeting with CEO Jamie Dimon.

JD: Mr. Bernanke, what do you think about Ron Paul not seeking re-election?

Ben Bernanke: Oh yes, I am so JOYFUL beyond belief. Words cannot describe the delight that every FED governor and Wall Street executive has right now – to know that Dr. Paul will not be around to harass us. No more ‘Audit the FED’ legislation, no more embarrassing congressional testimonies and Youtube gaffes for me; it’s just like we’re starting over from 1913.

JD: Do you have any celebrations planned for this?

Ben Bernanke: Oh yes. We’re throwing a $200M party at every FED branch – courtesy of my printing presses. We’re also inviting every Fortune 100 CEO, Wall St. Banker, and each politician which we’ve bought off. Not to mention, our keynote speaker will be former Treasury Secretary and Goldman Sachs CEO, Henry Paulson. And just to add icing on the cake, we’re going to institute a semi-annual round of quantitative easing to commemorate this festive occasion. I can now sleep soundly at night, knowing that these relentless attacks from Dr. Paul will cease to exist!
Posted by ~ Jonathan D. Hodges

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