It has been nearly a week since my Spring Semester ended and only a day since I officially graduated from Rutgers. Furthermore, it has been less than 12 hours since I returned to public blogging, albeit in a new weblog host. In between this particular period of my college existence, I spent much of my time enjoying myself by hanging out with friends and continuing my writing on a private blog server. There were several worthwhile lessons to be learned from this experience, but I chose to focus on the area of relationships because this will become increasingly relevant in the weeks to come.
1. Keep my feelings to myself to a large extent while only confiding my feelings to only one or two trustworthy friends. Otherwise, people will begin suspecting and talk to all the wrong people. Once the information reaches the wrong hands, there will be serious complications, if not problems.
2. Maintain contact with those I like on a regular basis, if possible. Otherwise, they may feel ignored, resulting in increased vulnerability or they may interpret the lack of contact as a lack of interest, which may lead them to meet other people and move on.
3. Make sure that the interest is based on the individual’s personality and not primarily on physical appearance. Also make sure that there are no external factors that are driving my interests and that I am interested for my own reasons and only by my reasons.
4. Ignore impediments such as time or competitors. They are non-issues if there is a genuine or mutual interest among two people because nothing can truly get in the way. Otherwise, it’s going to fail.
5. Rejections should not be taken personally because it doesn’t mean that person dislikes me. It simply means she is either with someone else, it needs to be approached differently, or it is just an indication to try harder or move on.
6. Never allow information that can be used against me to be easily accessible. This happened to me on several occasions, and it has benefited others at my expense. If there is a need to write or place information in public, make sure safeguards are in place to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.
7. I should trust my instincts and judgment. My good friend and roommate pointed out that I have good instincts in these matters. This means if I have a feeling or suspicion about something, I should aggressively investigate these matters and remain true to my convictions in the face of doubters. I should prevent my emotions from clouding my judgment and instincts.
8. Ignore the high road in matters of the heart because others will do everything in their power to ensure my failure. It does not matter if that person claims to be a friend, a professed Christian, or even a confidant. They will use whatever resources they have to ensure their own success and will only follow their own rules to do it. FUCK CHIVALRY. There will be reprisals, but it must be done if there is a strong, viable interest.
9. Hate the game not the players. People can “player-hate” on me all they want, but they need to improve their game if they are going to get anywhere. The same holds true for me too. In the end, self-improvement and an understanding of the situation is the best way to achieve success.
10. Make sure they are single and not in any existing relationships. This speaks for itself.